April 24, 2021
Okay, I’ve moved to Chicago. My life has certainly changed. For one, I was outside, like outdoors in the open, for a whole ten minutes today. In Montana, I would have walked in the woods twice that long first thing in the morning, just for starters. With a dog or two. No dogs here. Actually, there are dogs everywhere. They’re just not mine. But in a way, they are because I see them, I hear them, I am drawn to them, they say hi to me with their eyes and tail.
I’m so excited. I have no specifics. I’m excited about all the options. The potential. The vast unexplored expanse ahead of me. Again, no specifics.
Here I am at the beginning of the next hero’s journey, starting out with meager belongings in the pack on my back. I’m humming to myself as I go along on my path. There have been so few bumps, I’ve become a believer that the Universe is placing a stepping stone just before each foot lands. If I tried to write my story to date, you’d think I was a crazy-imaginative storyteller capable of well suspending your belief in reality. Knock on wood; the obstacles have been few.
If (when) an obstacle comes along, I’m not quite past the point in my life where I would not reach out to a mentor or a guru. So, I find a resourceful person and ask for help. This feels good.
This guru will teach me things on all levels. I can relax, but not. Gurus and masters throughout time have guided seekers to look within rather than outside of themselves for solutions. One can resist inner knowing for as many lives as one wishes, but there is no outlasting it.
Then comes the test. And that will feel really awful, like when you gain full-sail confidence only to have the Universe tear you down with a humbling experience. You have to eat crow. I love crows and ravens, so this is extra horrible.
In the darkest moment, right before I give up, when I’m beginning to orient myself to cutting losses and crawling in a hole, forever, I will make some adjustment which surprisingly advances me. "Oh!" I’ll think. "I am beginning to understand." Ka-chink, ka-chink, ka-chink. The pieces begin to fall into place. One last attempt and I win the inner battle. I’m different now though. I’ve marked another notch in my Wisdom belt.
I will repeat over and over what it was I learned. Though forgetting seems impossible, it is not. I might even label that notch. Then, looking back I will be struck with a blinding-light revelation — Universe had been inching me along this path for quite a while now. In installments. I don't know about you, but it typically takes me five significant inner battles before the learning is fully integrated into my being.
Then, I go back home. Why? I’m not sure. Am I supposed to tell my story to others? Why? Do I qualify as a guru now? It would do no good to share my learnings. Humans learn by going on their unique journey, fighting their own battles, and having their personal revelations.
No one person’s journey is exactly like another because everyone has had individual experiences throughout their many lifetimes which have resulted in the need for different lessons and goals.
— The Arcturian Group 4/25/21
Regardless, here I go. Walking along. In Chicago. 'Amid pigeons picking at trash at the intersection, inches off the curb and one foot from whizzing cars. 'Among people who are incredibly friendly once you begin a conversation, otherwise I pass them on the street without looking up. I live in an apartment and hear my neighbors' sounds and know their taste in music and recognize their dog by its bark but never know with whom I am living. Oh well, here I go. All is proceeding according to plan. Not mine. The Universe’s.